Notes From Beyond the Grave

I have clearly died and gone to heaven. The reason I know this is because a couple of days ago one of the suits I work for asked me how long it would take to process 1.7 million records coming in from one of her customers. I told her 6 days to run it through my system.

As you well know this normally results in the revelation that the suit has already told the customer that they can have it tomorrow morning. It’s written somewhere in the union contract, I think.

But that didn’t happen. She wrote back and said she told the customer it would take two weeks because she figured she should give me more time in case there were unforeseen difficulties. That’s how I knew I’d died and gone to heaven. I must have died in my sleep the night before.

Being as I’ve died, I though you all might like to know what it’s like here in heaven.

The truth is, it’s almost exactly like earth, except that suits under-promise and over-deliver, treat developers with respect by expecting actual answers when they ask questions, that sort of thing.

Well, what did you expect? If the streets were paved with gold, gold would be commonplace and would have no value anyway. I’ll take humane, sane customers with reasonable expectations any day. You poor mortals will just have to put up with abitrary deadlines. But maybe this will give you something to look forward to.